"Hands, touching hands..."

These have been some of those days that you start up thinking what you have been doing wrong. You have been reaching out for something or someone but you didn't find. That's ok, it happens to thousands of people everyday... but it's been a while now, and I can't help start up thinking that something is wrong with me. Have I been looking for it in the wrong places? Maybe, maybe not.

What I do know is that everytime that I chase for something totally different, I also find a new problem. Last time is still fresh in my memory; I had way too much to drink, but I wasn't wasted, not even drunk. I wasn't expecting him... but he showed up. My eyed were always finding his, I knew... I know... something was going on. Eyes, laughs, singing, applauses and hands touching hands... I can tell we were clearly flirting, or at least I was. lol. The goodbye, the touch on my back, it was different.

The next day I didn't know if I would tell my friend what I thought was going on... maybe it was just one of those mind tricks... mine, of course. So I decided I would keep it to myself, and when I was sure of this I would share with the girls. Well, too late dumbass.

Today I just heard that one of my friends have a huge crush on that same guy. Come on, I just thought everything was cool again, I wouldn't have to deal with some new problem... and then, bomb. I'm not gonna fight for a guy over a friend.. even if I think that what she is feeling is not real. I just don't want to have this on my shoulder, please. I don't deserve. God knows!

And these are the times that I think about giving up on love... on relationships. At least for a while. Damn!